This Heart Will Beat For You
by AndreaEBus
Summary: "A broken heart comes after a broken promise..." Picks up after DTW Pt2. Ever wonder what happened early moments after? What were they thinking and, mostly, feeling? This is my version of that. EClare Two Shot
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there! This is my first Degrassi/EClare story ever! So, please take it easy on me... Per now. I kind of based the story on the song **Don't Be Deceived **by **Phillip LaRue **(The same song used at the end of DTW pt.2, yes)**

**English is NOT my first language, so if you notice any mistakes or something, now you know.**

**Reviews are welcome withe wide arms.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Degrassi, do _not _sue.**

**Enjoy.**

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><p><strong>C h a p t e r O n e<strong>

Let's face it, lying on a hospital bed, all fucked up, isn't the prettiest thing… I've just lost everything. One blink, one second, and everything I cared about was gone, again.

I am here, because of her, I crashed Morty because of her… I ruined myself on a car wreck because of her! … And now she's gone.

A normal person would choose drifting off to dream land and forget about everything… Since when Eli Goldsworthy became a normal being?

"Baby boy…" I heard a tender female voice saying, getting me out of my trance. I blinked once, twice, but I gave no verbal response.

I didn't want to talk; I didn't want to realize this wasn't the worst nightmare ever. I didn't want the cruel and tough reality to hit me right between the eyes. That was something I wasn't prepared to face nor accept…Ever.

"It's probably the morphine." I heard a nurse announcing to my mother. No, it wasn't the morphine.

Bullfrog and Cece nodded, without excitement and they started to turn around. I noticed Cece's sobs.

"I'm…" Fine? No. "I heard, I'm _conscious_."

My parents honored me with their sad smiles. Bullfrog handed me my iPod and after, they walked out of the room, the depressing hospital room I was trapped in… _Alone._

_Don't leave me, okay? Please… _A broken heart comes after a broken promise.

I closed my eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long night, maybe the longest of my whole life. Not being able to sleep, because every time I started to fall asleep, her face appeared in my mind; with all her perfection and all her innocence that were so characteristic of her. I guess there's a reason of why I keep seeing her flawless expressions… Because, she is my dream. I was living the dream, and now I lost it.

I can hear voices in my head, telling me: _"nothing lasts forever"_… But this dream is the exception, it's the fantasy I never want to leave, and I don't want to try and imagine different scenarios, because it's not even a possibility; this dream, this unexpected, yet perfect, twist of my reality, will always be, because my love for her will never cease to subsist.

_You scare me, Eli… _I can't help but hate myself at this moment. Scaring the love of my life, was certainly the last thing I wanted, but I did, and it hurts, deep down in my heart, knowing that she sees me as a _monster._

The physical pain, right now, is the least of my worries… There's a pain in my chest, which I can't handle; it aches and sends shivers to all of my body, it is simply surreal. The heart will never stop beating, that should be good, but with every beat comes the pain, and then my mind starts to wonder.

_This heart will beat for you._ My heart will always beat for her. True fact.

How much can someone be in need of someone else? Because I really feel miserable without her. _I need her to stay._

_The moment the pain becomes unbearable, is the moment of truth... The moment closure appears, and then, your life starts to move on. _I don't want to move on, though… If pain is what it takes to see her in my sleep, in my fantasies and everywhere I look, even if she's not actually there, pain: be my guest.

Pain will never, actually, be pain itself if she is somewhat involved. But, as of right now, pain is the only thing I'm feeling and everything relates to her… Are my beliefs mistaken? Perhaps I deceive myself?

I am not as strong as I make people think. I can endure pain, as long as I can live with it… But, could I ever be able to live without my muse?

I will have to teach myself, to accept the fact that she's gone.

Goodnight, Clare Edwards.


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided to post the whole thing... Don't mind me. Just let me know what you think. Reviews are well preciated.**

**Disclaimer: Like I said, do not own Degrassi or anything, so be good and do not sue.**

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><p><strong>C h a p t e r T w o<strong>

"Are you sure you don't want to sleepover tonight?" Alli Bandhari, my best friend, asked me while we stood in front of my house.

"Alli, no… Everything is okay. You have nothing to worry about." I reassured her, flashing her with a pathetic wanna-be smile.

She stared at me with her enormous eyes, not buying any word that escaped my mouth. No blinks, no doubts… She knew I was suffering.

Sav came walking towards us.

"Alli, we need to keep going! Dad is gonna…" He said, waving his arms, showing off his impatience.

"Hey! Don't you see what's going on? Jeez! Give me one more minute!" It was obvious they were about to start a typical Bandhari argument, so I had to step in.

"No, it's fine." I started, but a sob came out of my throat, bringing myself down. Great. "Sav, take her."

Sav signaled Alli to the truck, she walked towards it, not hiding her pout. Sav stood there, staring at me. Suddenly, he took my hand and placed something in it.

"Just in case you feel like sneaking out. Now you have somewhere to crash." I smirked; they were always so nice to me… Then it hit me, no more smirks.

The trucks horn echoed around us. Mental note: apologize to the neighbors tomorrow morning.

"You're. Stealing. MY. LINES!" Alli shouted in between loud horns. I giggled and entered my house, without looking back.

My mom greeted me as soon as she heard the door closing. How cool.

"Hello Clare, how was your dance?" Faking interest again, Mom? You could've at least looked at me instead of the TV. Not reply worthy.

"Some woman called looking for you. She claimed her name was Cece…" She added when I was half way to my room.

My eyes widened. My heart stopped and I clearly felt how my stomach flipped aggressively.

"C-Cece?" I asked, in disbelief.

"Quite a name, huh? She told me to tell you _Hi_, and to call back, whenever you got the chance."

I stood there for almost two minutes, not knowing what to say, or even think. My mother didn't notice the hesitation, of course, she is just there, playing a part, or decorating the house… Just like another piece of furniture. Never caring.

I closed my eyes tightly and walked to my room as fast as I could. I shut the door fiercely. I sat on my bed, staring at my bare feet, but something on my nightstand caught my attention… I knew it wasn't safe to look at it, I knew it was going to hurt, but I was stupid enough, as to grab it and stare at it for quite a long time.

It was a photo, of _us_… Of _us_, resting on a hammock. We looked so in peace, so meant to be, so **happy. **_We were made for this love._

I remember that night perfectly, how could I forget? I sighed in defeat, acknowledging my eternal weakness… I _can't_ forget.

It took me ages to perform my nightly routine… I felt so numb, it's impossible to describe.

I couldn't believe it…. It was impossible for me to take in everything that happened, it's just, so much… Why is it so hard to be with _him?_ Is this, still, a part of His plan? Because I have to admit, it does really _sucks._

An hour passed, I still wasn't able to sleep… Staring at the ceiling, listening to music, reading a random book, all of that in vain. All of that remembered me of the events occurred, consequently, I started questioning myself.

Did I make the right choice? Am I going to be able to move on? Was it worth it, breaking the promise? Will he hate me? What are Bullfrog and Cece going to think of me?

_You care too much about what people think _… Maybe.

I was mentally tired; more like exhausted, but every time I closed my eyes, memories of us flashed, his face resembling the pain of tonight… The pain that I caused.

_If the color in your eyes fades to grey… _The moment I saw the pain taking over his eyes, the green turning into black, the fading luster… I knew I was going to need a lot of will to make it through. _It has to be enough._

I guess I'll have to deal with the nightmares, for the rest of the night… Or maybe even longer.

A single tear escaped my eye; a single, fugitive, tear, the one I fought desperately to keep inside, the tear that I didn't want anyone to notice at the dance, the tear that was about to show in front of Alli, the tear that almost fell when my mother told me Cece called… The tear that represented all of my feelings, was finally out of my system, and I counldn't do anything else but let it travel down my cheek.

I knew I couldn't fight my feelings, it was effortless, a lost battle… But if there is one thing I'm positive about is, I have to let him go, for good, for our sake.

Goodbye, Elijah.


End file.
